How to Solve Problems in a Relationship?

When you hear the word Relationship, mostly the relationship between couples- either married or not, is popping up in your mind. Probably you’re searching for solutions for problems that commonly occur in a ‘couple relationship’.

In fact, statistics say “The United States is leading the ranking by revenue in the ‘Dating Services’ segment of the services market, recording 2.4 billion U.S. dollars. Following closely behind is China with 1.5 billion U.S. dollars, while Italy is trailing the ranking with 67.05 million U.S. dollars, resulting in a difference of 2.3 billion U.S. dollars to the ranking leader, the United States”.

In this article, I have covered problems that disturb human relationships. You can use this as a blueprint and find answers to questions dancing in your mind.

Before moving further, I would like to appreciate you. Because, by clicking on “How to Solve Problems in a Relationship?”, you have shown your solution-oriented mindset which is the base to get rid of misery.

Is There An Exact Answer for “How to Solve Problems in a Relationship”?

Some issues in relationships are happening and some are born from your dream of a ‘perfect relationship’. It is important to identify and differentiate them to come up with an accurate solution.

In short– it is easy to observe and identify the mistakes, misunderstanding is the cause. But in reality, relationship problems are complex and tricky. Hence, let us dive a bit deeper and see together one by one;

1. Build Trust:

Lack of trust or no trust is an important factor that creates hell in close relationships.

You trust the other person means, there is no need to worry or think overly about certain issues related to that person.

Let us take extramarital affairs as an example. If you’re not okay with it and you are clear about it, make sure that your actions and your partner’s actions are aligned with the factor of trust.

• Trust is measured by actions and not by words. It’s not always important what you and the other person say, but what are your actions in daily life.

• You must also be able to differentiate between- negligible actions that are not intended to harm you and actions that can not be tolerated and justified.

2. Expectations-Necessary Vs Unnecessary:

You have always heard that expectation brings disappointment and so, don’t expect anything from anyone. Isn’t it?

What if I tell you to replace your thinking from “Should you have expectations or not” to” Have necessary and realistic expectations only”?

For example– A housewife (or woman for that matter) expects her ‘champion drinker’ (alcoholism) husband to drop his habit of drinking and smoking because she is concerned about his health. At first glance, it seems like a realistic one. But even after her various efforts to convince him, he is not even ready to listen or minimize his habits (It is a great challenge to get rid of a deep-rooted habit).

Now I say it is an unrealistic expectation, and you?

On the other hand, the husband extends his habits to drugs and he is badly influencing their children. Now, if the wife expects him not to cross his limits, this is a right and necessary expectation of that wife. At any cost, she has to take suitable action.

Well! It’s your time to calmly see your expectations. What are they? From whom you’re expecting?

In case the other person expects something that you can not fulfill, clarify it as early as possible.

3. Consider the Role of Respect in Relationships:

Every person deserves basic respect. It doesn’t mean you walk around them by appreciating how good or positive they are.

If you respect somebody with whom you’re in relation, you have the right to make them realize their negative aspects too. But you must be very careful regarding when, where, and how you are communicating with each other.

The Big Bad Habit is to insult your loved one in front of many or even a single person who plays no significant role in both of your lives.

Having said that, sometimes words may go wrong unintentionally like- at a party, celebration, or environment where fun is allowed. Before things go wrong, it’s better to genuinely ask a sorry and end the matter.

As we discussed previously, realistic expectations are important and Respect is one such factor that comes under necessary expectations. You deserve respect.

4. Communicate Properly:

Communication is a broad term and has many dimensions. I’ll try to keep it simple and minimal to understand better.

a. Listen Actively:

Have you noticed a funny thing that we use only our mouth more than our couple of eyes and ears? Silently listening to another person helps not only to understand the meaning but the intent behind the words.

b. React or Response- What to do?

If the other person’s word or action is harmful to you, you may need to react. Otherwise, in most cases, the response is enough.

Act according to requirement, not based on habit or in the name of your nature.

c. Healthy Arguments:

Arguments in themselves are not at all wrong. Fighting for what is right (not what you think is right) is a must.

If you find the other person’s arguments are baseless or just a standpoint, don’t waste your time and energy. Just move on.

d. Communication in Relationship – What to Share?

This is subjective. I can’t specifically suggest you do this or that.

Though transparency sounds cool, sometimes you may not be comfortable sharing a specific issue with a particular person. It depends on necessity and the type of relationship you are in with that person.

5. Do not Ignore the Space:

Iwantyoutobeattentive, haven’t understood? I said I want you to be attentive. That’s why space is important.

Look at the above picture again and observe what you see and what comes to mind. You may interpret it as there is a happy family, a colorful and lovely picture, a text that is right or wrong, meaningless, and so on.

Again, have you noticed the space?

I just want to say that along with what we see it’s also important how we see and interpret it.

Now come back to the main point.

What is the role of space in relationships? Let me break it down for you;

a. Physical:

No doubt, it is very important to spend quality time together. It may be 5 minutes, an hour, or a day.

As the relationship gets older, everything becomes predictable. Prediction of words, actions, or behavior seems common. All of these may lead to boredom and negligence.

If this is so, then hanging out with others, in a new location may give some temporary relief.

Physically staying away from your loved one may be a solution (only if the current situation is not in favor of both of you).

b. Psychological:

I’m not a psychologist. I’m sharing my observations about myself, the people around me, and words from people who were and are in a successful relationship

Psychological space means space between your thoughts and the cluttered thinking process. You talking to yourself means you’re thinking.

Thoughts arising from unnecessary fear and extreme desire, create problems that are difficult to solve.

6. Tackle the Problem of Insecurity:

I’m sure you’re already concerned about individual security. But I don’t know how far you thought about security in the relationship.

You feel insecure when individuality dominates in the relationship. It need not be from your side only. Your partner may also be contributing his share of problems.

Always trying to grab attention, seeking compliments, and jealousy are a few symptoms of feeling insecure. Similarly, there could be many reasons for insecurity such as loneliness.

A quick check-list to verify your security status;

• Make sure that your relationship needs are fulfilled
• You have no financial problems
• There is no unnecessary comparison

To understand more clearly, read the post “How to Overcome Insecurity in Relationship?“ by Sharingshree.

7. Set Priority:

A well-set priority brings clarity to action.

What are the top 5 things in your relationship?

Do not ignore it. If the mind is puzzled, take a pen and paper and write them down.

Take this sample list;

• I want my relationship monetarily strong and let him/her work as hard as possible
• Along with a comfortable lifestyle, I need to spend quality time as much as possible
• I want him/her to wish me every time wherever they are. (like good morning,, good evening, and so on)
• Trust
• Respect
• He/She has to fulfill my expectations

Like this, first, write down 10 things randomly. Then, give them numbers from 1 to 10 based on their importance in your relationship.

Next, see how important the other person is. It is highly difficult to choose and differentiate people with whom we have a close relationship.

Consider these scenarios-

A husband is arguing with his wife related to their child’s future Vs A husband fighting to prove his wife wrong in front of a relative who visits rarely their house.

Now you’re clear about the prioritization, aren’t You?

You can refer to SharingShree’s Relationship Management section for related information.

Conclusion:

I have discussed with you a few reasons for conflicts. Now you know how to solve problems in a relationship.

There is no need to remember every sentence you read. Take the essence – clarity and the right understanding are required to live happily with your loved one.

Drop your comment and let me know what kind of topics you want me to write upon

If you find this helpful, share it with those who are searching for ways to get rid of their issues.

Do not share or force others to read such an article with a person with whom you are already in conflict. Instead of moving away from misery, he/she may ask you “Who am I to tell them how to be good?”.

What do you say?