How to Get Rid of Joint Family Problems? (Part-2)

“Family problems are not restricted to women only”, says many men aggressively.

Do you know why? If not, you’ll get to know today. How to get rid of joint family problems? (part-2) is all about men and their version of joint family drama.

Previously in part 1, we had seen how women suffer in a big family and few possible ways to come out of them. (Read Part 1 if you haven’t yet).

How To Get Rid Of Joint Family Problems? (Being Men):

Research has reported that “women are significantly more risk-averse than men, even if we take into account a wide range of controls. Regarding patience, we do not find any gender differences”. That means men also have sufficient patience to solve family problems. Which is a primary requirement to find any solution.

Shall we begin;

1. Have a Desire to Solve The Problems:

Napoleon Hill said in his book ” Think and Grow Rich”, “I wish to convey the thought that all achievement, no matter what may be its nature, or its purpose, must begin with an intense burning desire for something definite”.

What does that mean?

Desire is required not only to become rich but also to find the solution to any problem, be it a very tiny or big one.

I purposefully mentioned the words of Napoleon Hill because one of the common complaints of men is that they don’t pay attention to family matters as they do to accumulate wealth or achieve career growth.

We will talk about that later. But for now, calmly watch the problems, and their nature, so that the necessary desire and intensity to solve them permanently will come up automatically.

2. Understand The Complexity of Roles and Responsibilities:

To establish harmony in human life, society has set the roles and responsibilities of both men and women. At the second level which is rules of religion and at the third level family rules and conditions. All these impacts directly or indirectly.

Like a woman, a man also plays several roles and struggles to switch from one to another efficiently. Being a son, brother, husband, or father, giving 100% attention to each role and responsibility in itself is a great challenge.

In relationships, perfection is subjective. For instance-You need not become a father who buys everything your kid desires. What actually you and the people with you need from each other must be well-defined. And it’s okay if you’re unable to meet the unnecessary comparisons people make around you.

“Under commit, over-deliver” is the modern mantra of successful brands in the market. This is so true in personal relationships too.

3. Manage The Balance Issue:

Here I’m mainly talking about balancing career and family.

To be honest, there is no choice between these two. There’s no point in achieving high success (unless you truly treat the whole of humanity as your family) if it is not helping the family in any way.

Similarly, achieving meaningful success is almost next to impossible if the family is filled with conflicts. So, both are interlinked and interdependent.

Properly executing the timely priority is the simplest solution. For example, if there is a need for your deep focus on your career for a few days, you can go ahead by proper communication with the family members. Problems arise when you forget to reconsider the family after a certain period.

I hope you got me correct, didn’t you?

4. Individual Vs Indivisible – What is Family?

Where do you stand as far as decision-making and following others’ decisions in the family is concerned?

If you’re a decision-maker, consider the entire family if your decision is applicable to the whole family. This avoids unnecessary revolts.

On the other hand, if you’re following other family members’ decisions, make sure to what extent it impacts you and the family. Understanding the differences and similarities between personal and family decisions is the most important part of getting rid of family problems.

Take for example – the interior design or requirements of the house changes according to the needs and preferences of people living in it. A living area is generally used by every family member. The decisions related to that area must be based on the entire family’s needs and requirements. Similarly, decisions related to personal rooms, and study areas are up to people who use them.

What about the decisions related to the kitchen then? think it out.

5. Properly Prioritize The Relationships:

When you say joint family, that has already covered three generations as grandparents, parents, and children. Then there are multiple layers of relationships such as your parents and their near and dear ones, your siblings and their families, your spouse and her relatives, every type of relationship, and so on.

Being good and happy with everyone is an ideal picture. But how does it happen in daily life? It seems like a miracle in the actual world.

There is no particular set of rules to follow. You may have observed that relationship-based actions are mostly subjective and no one can really suggest exactly what to do or not.

Again, prioritizing becomes handy here. Now the question is how to do that effectively.

The prioritizing depends on the importance of the person and the kind of relationship, friendliness, intentions of people involved, etc. This kind of process helps to manage the complexity of relationships and various issues that arise from nowhere.

Read SharingShree‘s post on managing relationships to walk around the main relationships that influence daily life.

6. Be in a Good Friendship:

Relationships and friendship go together. Families that are based on friendliness, are less tend to have conflicts.

When multiple problems are going on in a family, a person whether man or woman would like to have a third person (generally a close or best friend) with whom he/she can share the problems.

Quality is much more important than quantity in friendship. That means how mature your friend(s) matters significantly than how many friends you have.

For Instance – You don’t need a friend who says you are always right or you’re wrong. Instead, he/she must be able to see the problems objectively. Again, you don’t need a person who motivates you no matter what the situation is. Unnecessarily throwing quotes or proverbs one after the other doesn’t work at every time.

A friend who can listen to you, guide you if he/she has genuine solutions, or keep quiet if they can not help you are the best. Remember, friends who suggest indulging in harmful and pleasurable habitats in any sense to forget the problems temporarily, are neither the best friends nor those are the best solutions.

This applies to you and me too, if we are friends of such a person who comes to us with his/her family problems.

What do you say?

7. Face The Fear of Insecurity:

Consciously or unconsciously, human beings feel insecure many times in various life situations.

Family and relationship parts are no exceptions to this.

“What if” kind of thoughts breed insecurity in us.

For Example – what if they leave me, what if they die, what if I get ill, and so on?

Unnecessary or too much dependency on someone, and dominating others without a second thought are a few reasons behind insecurity in families and relationships

Read How to Overcome Insecurity in Relationship? to get more clarity on the topic.

8. Consider The Self Growth:

No doubt, the metrics people use to define your growth are how you look, what you wear, what you own or where you go, etc. 99.99% of the people do not care about who you are. Because the human mind works that way, which is okay for the moment.

What does Self-growth mean?

There are two words – Self and Growth. To put it simply – the self is the summation of our body, experiences, and knowledge stored up in the brain. If so, what does growth mean then?

Let’s see;

a. Work for Health:

Wait wait. I’m not talking about those ideal perfect body types, which are set by the front-line media and social media standards.

Health for a common man is when “the body and the mind are themselves, not the major issues in performing day-to-day activities“.

This can be easily achieved by physically being active and consuming the right content for the mind.

If our health gets disturbed due to our own ignorance or negligence, we ourselves begin to have joint problems rather than solving joint family problems. So working on health is part of self-growth.

b. Develop Constructive Habits:

For the majority of people, habits are merely a temporary escape that makes the brain dull in the long run. Therefore there is no self-growth.

Take the simple example of social media scrolling.

Please do not jump up on me immediately. I’m not going to preach to you to stay away from that. I do use them as moderately as possible.

The problem arises when we begin to scroll through them because we need some kind of relief from family troubles. Such repeated actions will make us believe that they are the best solutions and we begin to consume whatever they offer to us.

A simple step to covert these unconscious actions to constructive habits is that begin to observe how social platforms work. Why do they recommend a particular type of content? What are their motives? Why do a few contacts appear at the top when you go to forward a message on WhatsApp?

This kind of observation helps not only to take control over our usage of social platforms but the ways to think differently when we need to solve family problems. Again, this also helps to see the positives which are always hidden in the glorified appearance of negatives.

Conclusion:

To sum up, what you and I discussed till now, there are unsolved issues at family levels be they small or big. The first step is to recognize the problems and have a strong desire to get rid of them.

Once this is done, taking further actions such as working on self-growth, being in a good friendship, and realizing the true importance of family will follow along the way.

In fact, you’ve already taken a significant step by reading this post till the very end. That means you’ve also proved the research correct where it said that they haven’t found any difference in patience level between men and women.

What was the best or worst part of this article, where you felt its correctness or the need for some changes? Let me know in the comment box. I would like to know.

Share this post with those to whom this might be a problem-solving piece of information that they receive from you.